It's been a while
Hey everyone! I mean, hey Jiayi- how have you been? Well i hope. ((: The touch is lost dont you agree? Most definitely.
I am 18 next year and i would like to think that at this age, everyone would probaby feel abit lost, worried or a little scared? Well, I do not know. I am scared for sure, scared about the many things the next year and the next have to offer.
Next year is going to be my A'level year but i think, it is not so much of the exam that im afraid. i feel it is just the thought that i may not be successful in the future, eg: as a person, in career, in life or in God that just trigger a fear hormone down my spine. Personally, i have no idea what this is all about. It is just a feeling of fear that comes when you do not want a few things to happen to you yet what will happen is so uncertain, like the feeling when we have prepared to give a speech yet we become speechless when the mike is passed to us because the predicitabilty of how the audience will react is unknown, it is dark. I do hope most of you, my audience, can relate with this.
I sit down here in front of my sister's laptop and think, i am sure most of us have an ideal picture of what we want ourselves to become next time right? A cosy house with damask curtains, a high earning job yet not the time-consuming type that deprive us of quality time with family and friends, a holiday with our spouse in a resort where money will not be a hindrance to a time of relaxation and love. Well, you can say that this unrest within me, the unrest of being unable to live the ideal picture of my life in future, is in some sense or another linked to the upcoming A'level exam. It is undoubtedly true. If i flunk it and come through with disastrous results, it will render me impotent to apply for a distinguished university, and so will my ideal bubble of future burst. If you think this way, you'll probably following my train of thought. The thing i am afraid of is what if i put in so much effort to study and clock in 20 out of 24 hours of work a day and still dont do well, what happens to me? Yeah, this is one of the many times that i think society is screwed up and friends or brothers become, to some extent, powerless to help. Which is probably why those of us who think this way are more of a individual person believing that if i do not help myself, no one would. I really cannot blame you for that.
"Diligence will pay", this will become the one of many phrases for me for the upcoming year and I will take faith in that, and if it speaks to any of my audience, I am happy for you.
I have a part II to this post and I do not know when Ill post it. Stay tune Jiayi? I hope so.
I am 18 next year and i would like to think that at this age, everyone would probaby feel abit lost, worried or a little scared? Well, I do not know. I am scared for sure, scared about the many things the next year and the next have to offer.
Next year is going to be my A'level year but i think, it is not so much of the exam that im afraid. i feel it is just the thought that i may not be successful in the future, eg: as a person, in career, in life or in God that just trigger a fear hormone down my spine. Personally, i have no idea what this is all about. It is just a feeling of fear that comes when you do not want a few things to happen to you yet what will happen is so uncertain, like the feeling when we have prepared to give a speech yet we become speechless when the mike is passed to us because the predicitabilty of how the audience will react is unknown, it is dark. I do hope most of you, my audience, can relate with this.
I sit down here in front of my sister's laptop and think, i am sure most of us have an ideal picture of what we want ourselves to become next time right? A cosy house with damask curtains, a high earning job yet not the time-consuming type that deprive us of quality time with family and friends, a holiday with our spouse in a resort where money will not be a hindrance to a time of relaxation and love. Well, you can say that this unrest within me, the unrest of being unable to live the ideal picture of my life in future, is in some sense or another linked to the upcoming A'level exam. It is undoubtedly true. If i flunk it and come through with disastrous results, it will render me impotent to apply for a distinguished university, and so will my ideal bubble of future burst. If you think this way, you'll probably following my train of thought. The thing i am afraid of is what if i put in so much effort to study and clock in 20 out of 24 hours of work a day and still dont do well, what happens to me? Yeah, this is one of the many times that i think society is screwed up and friends or brothers become, to some extent, powerless to help. Which is probably why those of us who think this way are more of a individual person believing that if i do not help myself, no one would. I really cannot blame you for that.
"Diligence will pay", this will become the one of many phrases for me for the upcoming year and I will take faith in that, and if it speaks to any of my audience, I am happy for you.
I have a part II to this post and I do not know when Ill post it. Stay tune Jiayi? I hope so.
posted by Jiayi at
8:45 PM
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